In our evolutionary past, Superiority served as a critical role for survival — people who were bigger, stronger, wealthier survived. This explains why the need for superiority hardwired in all of us.
One consequence of being conditioned for superiority complex is that we come to tether our self-esteem to being superior -
- When we learn that the amount of love and attention depends on how we stack up to our peers we internalize superiority and seek this even if others are not around to judge you
- The need for superiority also is rooted in our desire to make progress against cherished goals
- The desire for mastery— get increasingly competent or effective at something. How do we know? By comparing with others
- Being superior gives autonomy / freedom to be who we are
Does superiority make you happier?
Studies show that superiority does make you happier -
- Higher status individuals do not feel the need to watch what they say while lower status people have to be accomodating (hence vulnerable)
- Those higher in status have greater self-esteem / control / autonomy over decisions and hence this makes them happier
Although being superior enhances happiness levels, pursuit of superiority lowers the level. The more you strive for it the less happier you are.
Materialism and superiority
Adaptation is the reason why materialism dimnishes happiness. And the unrealistically high expectations people have from materialistic items. This also promotes self-centredness and lowers compassion
Tethering ones self-worth to being better than others can lead to obsessing about the implications of failing to achieve this goal — making you more vulnerable to depression. Inferiority complex in early years lowers self esteem
Mitigating the need for superiority
- Remove the need for superiority as a determinant of success. In cognitive intellectual jobs, it is more of a hindrance.
- Watch for situations that make you feel insecure and need to prove your superiority
- Material success makes us self-centered and greedy. We are at an all-time high in material prosperity.
- There is no need to hoard all the success. There is enough success in the world for everyone. So be a little selfless and compassionate and lift others along the way
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